Baby Update: Week 16

As of today, I am 16 weeks and 5 days. To say that this pregnancy is flying by would be the understatement of the century. I feel like it is going SO fast.

This time around has been completely different from my last two. The first trimester was really difficult for me this time. I was sick a lot. I was nauseated pretty much 'round the clock. I felt exhausted all the time, constantly hungry, and pretty emotionally unstable (just ask my husband). There were days that all I could do is cry, because I felt pretty much useless.

But, alas, there was light at the end of the tunnel. Around week 13, I started to feel the fog lifting. The nausea has finally subsided. I feel more energetic. I'm still hungry pretty much all the time, but if that is the worst of my symptoms, I'll take it! I am now in my very favorite stage of pregnancy. The second trimester, for me, is bliss.

I still haven't started feeling the baby move yet. Which, I'll admit has me a tiny bit concerned. I was feeling both the girls moving by week 16. But, they say (whoever they is) it's nothing to be worried about this early. So, I'm trying not to think about it too much. I have an appointment at the ob/gyn tomorrow, so she should be able to reassure me that everything is OK. Of course, just hearing that precious heartbeat again will put my mind at ease.

We are getting very close to finding out if we are going to be buying pink or blue. I cannot stand the suspense. In 3 weeks, we'll have our big 20 week anatomy scan ultrasound. We will be thrilled with whatever gender we are blessed with. But, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't praying for a boy this time. I don't really have a feeling one way or the other. I keep dreaming that it's a boy, and we only have a boy name decided on. But, I'm not sure if that is a sign or just wishful thinking. We'll see.

I'm going to try and do a baby update every 2-3 weeks or so (or anytime something exciting happens).

We are getting really excited about this new addition to our family. I feel so incredibly blessed to have these children in my life. I can't wait to discover who this new little person will be.

Where Have I Been?

Wait! What?!?! I have a blog, you say? Oh, that's right. I completely forgot about that for awhile.

I'm really sad that I have gotten so far behind with my journaling. I've missed lots of exciting things, including 2 birthday parties, a phenomenal trip to Disney World, and the first 17 weeks of my pregnancy. We've had Easter, beach trips, and so much more, that in my (well, let's just face it) laziness have been skipped right over.

What was I thinking?

So, here I am. I'm not even going to try and back track to cover the last few months...unless I just, all of a sudden, can't get Disney out of my head until I write it all down. That is a very real possibility.

I'm back and ready to start typing out my life again. So much is happening and changing in the upcoming months.

So, stay tuned. You won't want to miss it!

25 Things About Motherhood That Make Me Smile

25 Things About Motherhood That Make Me Smile-New Addition

1. Thinking about what life would be like with 3 kids
2. Making the decision that it could only get better
3. 2 lines on a stick that mean "Ready or not, Here I come"
4. Finding out on my baby's 2nd birthday that she's going to be a big sister
5. Telling our families with both our girls wearing Big sister shirts
6. Sarah saying she wants a "baby brother"
7. Thinking about names
8. Thinking about how to decorate the nursery
9. Hearing the sweet sweet heartbeat
10. Seeing the baby for the first time on ultrasound
11. Even though it just looks like a blip on the screen- a peanut
12. Feeling those precious flutters from within
13. Wondering-boy or girl??
14. Finding out-boy or girl.
15. Those flutters turning into knees and elbows, kicks and nudges
16. The sweet baby smell
17. The sweet baby noises
18. Feeling soft baby skin up next to mine
19. Savoring every moment with my 2 girls before my time is divided by 3
20. The excitement as it builds and builds
21. Weird cravings
22. Nesting
23. Brian painting my toenails
24. Counting the days until November 17th, 2011
25. Feeling my heart grow enough to accommodate all the love there

A Birth Story...2 Years Later

I have been hesitant to post Rylee's birth story, because, to be honest, I'm still a little heart broken over it. But, my free-spirited and quirky and beautiful Rylee Anne just turned 2 years old. So, I have to reflect on the day she was born. Disappointed in the way things went or not, we still got a perfect healthy baby girl on this day. So, it (of course) is in my top 5 Best Days of my Life.

As usual, this is a BIRTH story. If you are totally weirded out or offended by words like cervix, then you should probably go back to facebook now. You've been warned.

I was due to deliver on March 21, 2009, but because of gestational diabetes and my "history" of a big baby. The doctor wanted to induce at 38 weeks. By my 38th week, I was pretty much over being pregnant, so there was no objection from me.

So, on March 8, 2009 (my 26th birthday) we went in to be induced. The nurse came in and administered a drug to help "thin out" my cervix and help me dilate. I had been dilated to 11/2 and had been 50% effaced for a couple of weeks. But, with the big induction coming the next morning, they wanted to give me a good headstart. When that was done, we visited with the family that had come up to stay, my Mom and Nana and Brian's parents and sister. I cried after they left and took Sarah with them knowing that it would be the last time I would hold her as my only baby. I felt terrible guilt about the effect that having another baby would have on her. I was afraid that my time would be too scarce for her, and that she would resent me and her baby sister for it. I found out later that most of those fears and worries were unnecessary.

After the family left sometime between 9 and 10pm, the nurse came back and offered me a pill to help me sleep. At first, I said no. I know that I have a low tolerance for anything like that. I should have gone with my gut on that. But, after persuading me that this would be the only good night's sleep I would have for the next 3 months (at least) and I would need to be rested for the long and gruelling day ahead of me, I agreed. I took the ambien, and it was lights out, Rachel!

And, here is what honestly happened.

I don't remember progressing at an insanely rapid rate. I was supposed to be induced with pitocin and breaking my water the next morning. But, I apparently started contracting so strong and dilating so fast that waiting until the morning was no longer an option. I don't remember getting the epidural. I'm pretty sure you have to sign all kinds of waivers and things before they stick that gigantic needle in your back, but I can't recall signing one thing. I don't really even remember the contractions, except that I would sit up on the side of the bed when they were strong enough to be uncomfortable. I was fast asleep for the majority of my baby's birth. I don't even remember pushing or the doctor using the vacuum to get her out. If I'd been conscious for that I would have objected. But, I was completely out of it. It was the most helpless, horrible feeeling, to be physically but not mentally or emotionally present for one of the most important things I'll ever do. I had no control over myself or anything that happened.

Rylee was born at 8:15 am and weighed in at 9lbs. 1oz. and was 21 inches long. The exact same measurements as her big sister. I do remember the nurse saying that she had a dimple on her left cheek, and I absentmindedly reached up and felt with my hand to see if my dimple was on the left cheek, too. It is.

Eventually, after what seemed like forever, they brought Rylee to me to nurse and I got to really look at the new little person that I had loved for so long. The emotion that washed over me was overwhelming. And, in that moment it didn't matter how she got here. Just that she was in my arms, healthy and warm, and beautiful.

Immediately after laying her back in the bassinet, I went back to sleep not even able to stay alert sitting straight up. When the sleep inducing medicine finally made its way out of my body, I was able to fully enjoy my new bundle. Nursing often, and taking a bazillion pictures of her with her proud (and all of a sudden very grown up) big sister.

But, to this day, I am filled with regret and disappointment that I can't remember every detail of that most wonderful day.

My take on labor and delivery changed a lot after that day, and I have found myself throwing around ideas like all natural birth, midwife, doula, and even homebirth.

I can't believe that my little firecracker is now a busy, fun-loving 2-year-old. The time has passed so quickly. I have enjoyed every second being her Mommy. Rylee never wants to be very far from me. She loves to cuddle with me and give me kisses. She follows me wherever I go. And, if I go into a room without her, she stands outside the door and calls for me, "Mama, Mama, Mama!!" until I come out.

I really wouldn't trade it for the world.

The Best of Times...The Worst Of Times

Every night, in this house, after dinner and before bedtime, we have what is not-so-affectionately referred to as "hell hour". Just ask my sister-in-law, who called tonight during such hour. We didn't get to speak much more than a sentence to each other before having to hang up. Who can hear someone on the other end of the phone with Battle of the Baby Dolls going on in the background, anyway?

The girls are cranky, tired, and loud. They yell and scream. They bicker and fuss. And, 9 times out of 10, one or both of them ends up getting hit or kicked or even (on the rare occasion) bitten.

Sometimes it can look like pre-school WWF around here. Exhausting.

And, then...bedtime.

We read a story every night. It is quite possibly my very favorite part of the day. Both girls climb into one bed, we pick out a book, and then we experience the calm after the storm.

Tonight it's a Beauty and the Beast bedtime story. We click, click, click our tongue when someone knocks on a door and we all take turns HUCKKKK-SHOOOO'ing at the part where the Beast is snoring. And, I laugh out loud, because it really is the best kind of silly fun.

We kiss and hug and tuck in. Repeat. And, repeat. And, repeat again. (Rylee is still adjusting to not being "behind bars" at night.)

"Mommy, Rylee is out of her bed again!!"

"Mommy, Rylee is in the toy box!!"

"Mommy, Rylee took Mammy and won't give him back!!"
"Mommy...."

I sigh, too loudly, and march, also too loudly, into the bedroom to (most likely) yell something like, "NOT ONE MORE WORD!!!"

But, Sarah says sweetly, "Will you rub my back and sing me a lullabye?" She has requested a back rub and lullabye every night for the past week. I should have seen it coming. So, I kneel beside her bed, and take a few deep breaths to calm myself. She lifts her purple monkey night gown and I start to rub her back. I ask what lullabye she wants me to sing and she says, "Jesus loves me". Yes, Lord, I hear You.

So, I sing. And, I insert Sarah's name in all the appropriate places. She loves that.

She says, "Tomorrow night we can sing "He's got the Whole World in His Hands." Loud and clear, Father, Loud and Clear.

Then, Sarah drifts off to sleep.

5 minutes later...

"Mama."

Gently I say, "Rylee, it's time for night-night."

Rylee rolls over in her bed with her back facing me and tugs at her Tinkerbell PJ shirt.

"Wuub Bock, Mama. Shing."

I kiss that sweet, dimpled face. Then, I rub that soft, pudgy little back, and sing "Hush Little Baby." When the song ended, I gave more kisses and hugs.

Rylee then cupped my face in her precious little hands and said, "Go, Mama." with a smile, and a minute later she was sleeping.

Right there, feeling my most frazzled, my spirit was soothed by singing of Jesus' love for us, counting my blessings (2 of them lying in their beds with my hand on their backs), and even hearing that still, small voice whisper that it is all in His hands.

It was my own personal "Heaven Hour".

p.s. These pictures were taken a few nights ago when the evening had been a smidge more pleasant. I'm not crazy (or talented) enough to be snapping pictures in the middle of total chaos.

Mullet Be Gone

Cake the Flying Love Mullet is no more! (Thanks for the nick-name Uncle Drew. She'll appreciate that when she's older) Rylee got her first haircut last weekend. She is having lots of firsts these days. She can't sit still at home for more than 5 seconds at a time, but she made a total liar out of me, and sat like an angel for the duration of the haircut. Of course, the Dum Dum sucker probably helped. I'm thinking I should buy a lifetime supply of Dum Dum's and give her one every day when we comb her hair. Maybe, just maybe, then she'd sit through it. Of course, we'd have to hold her down to brush her teeth after that, so it would defeat the purpose. Anyway, her haircut is SO her. It really does fit her personality. And, I think she looks downright adorable, if I do say so myself.

Wednesday Of A Few Words

I don't know why I love this picture so much. I just do.
One day last week, Sarah came to me, with her Glenda the Good Witch wand in hand, and said, "I have a wish that I want to magically come true." (Sometimes I wonder where she gets this stuff)
I replied, "What is your wish?"
She waved her wand around in the air and said, "I wish, I wish that Daddy could stay home with us everyday."
I smiled and said, "Me, too." And, I meant it...mostly.:)

If I could wave a magic wand and get a wish, I would wish for our girls to always see their Daddy as a big goofball who gives the best hugs, tickles, and "horse"back rides. And that he loves them more than his own life.

p.s. He also makes absolutely the most convincing elephant noise I have ever heard during "Old MacDonald Had A Farm". HA!

4 Years

Four years ago today, I was laboring, and laboring, and laboring. We all thought that this day would be THE day. Little did we know that she would wait until just after midnight the following morning to make her grand entrance. My first baby, Sarah, will be 4 years old tomorrow.

Four years old!!!

She is funny and sassy. She is emotional and dramatic. She is a cry-er. She is a laugh-er. I've said it many times before, but she feels everything so deeply. She is going to make a big difference in the world someday. She has already made all the difference in my world.

God gave her to me right when He knew that I would need her the most. "A time to be born. A time to die." I do not believe in coincidences. I know that my little girl was born the day before my Daddy's birthday for a reason. I have often in the last 4 years questioned. Lord, why did you have to take him while I was pregnant? Why could he not have at least lived long enough to lay eyes on the granddaughter that he was so looking forward to meeting? But, I think I understand now why. It was time for him to go and time for her to come. And, I will thank God for that everyday. The only thing in this world that could alleviate some of my grief was bringing a beautiful new miracle into this world. It really was perfect timing. I will thank Him everyday for the 23 years that I had my Daddy and I will cherish every second that I have with my daughter, because it is all so fleeting.

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY, SWEETIE-GIRL!

Mommy loves you so much!

Somebody Is A Big Girl...Maybe.

We have introduced Rylee to the potty. For the last 3 days we have sat on the potty, sang the potty songs, done the dance, and all of that. For the last 3 days, she has sat there for about 10 seconds at a time, and been completely uninterested. Yesterday, I decided that she might just not be ready. She isn't quite 2 yet. Then last night, she grabbed her diaper and said, "Potty". So we gave it another shot. She tee-tee'd in the potty!! We celebrated like it was the 4th of July! We clapped and sang and danced. Then both girls got a congratulatory M&M:1 for Rylee the potty user and 1 for Sarah the cheerleader. I'm pretty sure now that I'm going to have to give Sarah an M&M every time that Rylee uses the potty. Sarah was more excited about it than any of the rest of us! Which, I'll admit, surprised me a little. I thought there might be some issues with Rylee getting that extra attention, but Sarah really impressed me with her excitement and pride over all of it.

I was SO excited!

Was...

We get up this morning, and start to take Rylee to the potty first thing. NOT HAPPENING! She has wanted nothing to do with the potty all day. Not once have I been able to get her to sit on it. Not once has she even gone into the bathroom. Today, she is perfectly content in her Huggies. I guess maybe she isn't quite ready after all. But, she's making the connection. So, hopefully it won't be too much longer.

By the way, I hate potty training. I really do. I wish it was one of those things that they could learn to do on their own like crawling and walking. But, it is part of the job. And, once successful, the results are well worth it. Although, I have to confess, it is hard for me to imagine a life without diapers.

Answering The Call

"MAMA...MAMA...MAMA...MAMAAAA..." My precious girl can't seem to sleep tonight, and neither can I. I was lying in bed sending up prayers for my closest and dearest friend of more than a decade when I heard that sweet little (and not so little at the same time) voice calling my name. I walk into her room, she reaches up, I take her in my arms, and she buries her face in my neck saying "Hey, Mama." As I sat in the rocker with my 21-month-old and tried to quietly hum her back to sleep, I got to thinking. How many times over the past 4 years have I answered that call? Did I always want to? Even when I was resting so well, or too busy, or completely comfortable where I was? I can't say that I was always thrilled about it, but I can say that I have always gone to my children when they called me.

The call to motherhood can come in many different forms.

It's not always a stick with 2 lines, nine months to prepare yourself, and waiting for those first calls for you in a delivery room. Adopted when I was 10-months-old, I am proof of that. There are some beautiful children in my family who are proof of that. Sometimes, it's a pricking at your heart. God leading you to foster precious children who are desperately in need of love and a family. Sometimes, it's a desire you can't explain, to adopt a child who needs you...and who you need, as well. And, sometimes the call to motherhood comes right out of nowhere when you are least expecting it. It wakes you from a peaceful night's sleep, turns your world upside down, and rearranges it in a matter of minutes. But, you do what all Mamas do, and you answer that call.

The dear friend that I was lifting up to the Father when my baby called for me, got an unexpected call a couple of weeks ago. And, instead of turning the other way, and letting someone else "deal" with it. She answered the call that thrust her into motherhood overnight and thirteen years late. People told her it was crazy, and it would be too hard, and it wasn't the right time. But, she obeyed God, and dove heart-first into motherhood, because that child needed someone to be her mother right then.

I am immensely proud of her.

She answered the desperate call of a child who was crying out for a Mama with all of her heart and everything she had. For once in her life, that precious child will have someone to call for, even in the middle of the night. And, my friend, although brand new to the role that has been given to her, will take that child in her arms, wipe her tears, and make her feel safe and loved, because that is what Mamas do.

You never know what a difference you can make in the life of a child, just by answering when they call, and answering when He calls you to motherhood, no matter what circumstances lead you there.


"A Father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in His holy habitation. God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land." Psalm 68:5-6

I think this must be one of my cousin Vanda's favorite Scripture passages. And, I wanted to share it, because she has answered the call to Mama in many different (and all wonderful) ways.

Wednesday Of A Few Words

Sarah's dance class had Parent's Night. Just before their performance, I looked down and Rylee was sitting right next to Sarah's friend, Lylah. During Sarah's dance, ALL eyes were on her. And, by ALL eyes, I mean mine and Brian's. As soon as the dance was over, I started looking around. "Where is Rylee???" I ask Brian. He says, "I don't know. I thought she was with you." PANIC sets in. So, I start frantically searching for my 21 month old who seems to have disappeared in a sea of tutu's. Just then, right through the door that Brian had been standing in front of the entire time, Rylee walks through, holding a cookie, and smiling mischievously. In the 2 minutes that no one was watching her, she got up, went to the next room where all the refreshments were, and had her own personal intermission. As nervous as I had been, I had to laugh! That girl keeps me more on my toes than any of the little ballerinas we saw that night.

25 Things About Motherhood That Make Me Smile: Christmas Edition

1. The drive home on Christmas Eve with both girls sleeping in the backseat.
2. Reading What is Christmas? to them when I put them to bed.

3. Putting out gifts from Santa in certain spots in the living room.

4. Making cookies for Santa. This didn't get done this year. Santa got store bought oatmeal cookies and a Little Debbie Christmas Tree cake with a tall glass of milk.

5. Leaving crumbs on the plate and a little milk in the glass.

6. Writing a letter to Sarah and Rylee from Santa.

7. Waking up hours before they do, too excited about Christmas morning.

8. The looks on their faces when they realize Santa came to their house.

9. Playing in the snow-snow angels, snowman, snowballs!

10. Watching Sarah "play" her violin like she is the Concert Master of the Symphony.

11. Watching Rylee roll in laughter when she tickles Elmo and he laughs. Just like Sarah did 3 Christmases ago.

12. The NOISE!

13. The MESS!

14. The JOY!

15. Waiting (impatiently) for Gigi and PopPop.

16. Sarah's reaction when she opened her salon.

17. Sarah "painting" PopPop's fingernails.

18. Settling in for the evening to watch Toy Story 3 together.

19. Sarah laying on Gigi's lap during the movie.

20. Rylee falling asleep in her Daddy's arms during the movie.

21. Me crying at the end of the movie like the dork that I am.

22. Uninterrupted, quality family time.

23. Getting to feel like a kid again on Christmas morning- only better, because of my husband and daughters.

24. Sarah saying that she can't wait until next year.

25. Me saying, "Neither can I" and meaning it.

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

And, this year that dream came true!

When we went to bed late Christmas Eve night (or I should say early Christmas morning), there was grass on the ground. When we woke up, we had at least 2 inches of snow!

Brian saw it first. He got up and looked out the window, then started yelling for me to wake up. "Rachel! Get up and come look!!" We were almost jumping up and down like little kids. Speaking of little kids...ours were still sleeping. They both slept in until nearly 10 am. Which is totally unheard of, but we were glad. That meant we got to go out and play in it first. Brian and I had a snowball fight, it left me with a huge whelp on my knee, but I didn't care. We had a white Christmas! Who can believe it? This is Alabama! I am usually still wearing flip flops in December. The only thing I can figure is that God looked down and felt sorry for us spending yet another holiday living up here and decided to give us a little consolation prize. It was wonderful. After the girls got out of bed and saw all the things that Santa had brought, we got bundled up (I won't mention my husband's not-so-brilliant idea to keep the kids' clothes dry) and went out to enjoy it. Sarah was so excited to build real snow angels. She was just beside herself. Rylee wanted to eat the snow, and she did. We all worked on Frosty. Sarah and Rylee enjoyed putting his buttons on, which is why he had so many. People driving by our house were taking pictures of him!

It was an incredible Christmas morning. We had the best time!

Spending Christmas...Christmas Spending

Every year, it seems, it gets harder and harder to keep up with the demands of Christmas.And, a lot of times that is what it feels like...demands. What starts out as a time of joy and family time quickly turns into "How much are we spending?" and "Can we really afford all that?". The $10 here and the $20 there adds up to a substantial amount of money that could be saved or spent on more important things, and I am having a hard time this year finding the joy in all the spending. That is very unlike me. I usually get all excited making my lists and trying to think of great gifts that everyone will love. I enjoy the giving. For some reason this year, I can't explain it, I have not been as eager to go out and spend, spend, spend.

The girls aren't going to have a big Ta-Da from Santa this year. You know what I'm talking about. The huge kind of gift that takes up the whole living room and gets a BIG Christmas morning reaction. They are, however, getting everything that they asked for....Moon Dough and Pillow Pets included. And, thanks to Gigi and PopPop, a salon. We said that we were scaling back Christmas this year, because we are planning an upcoming trip to Disney World and would rather save money for that. But, those plans flew out the window as soon as Wal-Mart started playing Christmas carols over the intercom.

I have found a few ways to save money, though, in spite of all the hustle and bustle. I have done a lot of my Christmas shopping online, which has helped me compare prices, find better deals, and you can get free shipping almost everywhere during the holidays. Thank you eBay and amazon. And, a lot of people may disagree with re-gifting, but this year, I'm guilty! Two or three years ago it was the Christmas of Elmo around here. Sarah was between 1 and 3 years old and was infatuated with all things Elmo. When she started moving on to the next thing, we put most of the Elmo toys in the attic. This year, Rylee is at that age. She is Elmo's biggest fan. You should see her blue eyes light up when she hears that annoying, high-pitched voice! Why should we go out and buy all new Elmo toys when we have an attic full of barely-played-with Elmo toys? So, we are going to get all of those toys out, clean them up, and give them to Rylee. Poor Rylee, I know, always getting the hand-me-downs. But, she'll be just as excited about those recycled toys as she would be about new ones. That is, until she looks at the pictures 10 years from now and realizes that Santa brought her the exact same things that he brought Sarah 3 years earlier!

I am just realizing, I think, that I've spent so many Christmases getting all wrapped up (pardon the bad pun) in the things that aren't important. And, it's time now, to start remembering what Christmas is about in the first place. I don't want my girls to grow up thinking that Christmas is all about how much is spent on them and what they can get. I want them to have a real understanding of why we celebrate. I want to them to have a passion for giving. Not of their wallets, but of their time, and of their hearts. I want them to give freely all the love, encouragement, friendship, and service that they can. The things that can't be wrapped in a nice little bow. The things that Jesus came here and gave to us. And, I know that the only way to teach them the true spirit of Christmas is to lead by example.

So, this year, I don't need any tangible gifts. If you want to give me something, here is my list:

1. You can give me your prayers. If or when I cross your mind, just say a quick prayer. Pray that I will be the wife,mother, and daughter that my family deserves. Pray that I will be a better friend, who picks up the phone more often to call, and picks up a pen more often to write. Pray that I will find contentment spending another Christmas living away from home. Pray that this Christmas be our last one living here, and that next year Brian will get the opportunity to move us home. Pray that our lost loved ones will come to know salvation. And, pray that I will be the example of God's love that I am called to be. So that more will come to know His amazing love and mercy.

2. You can give of your time. Let's have dinner together when we come to town or take turns helping each other clean house or do laundry. It's only a 2 hour drive. Let's set aside an afternoon to gather all the clothes,toys, and household items that we don't use and donate them to people who really have needs this year. Let's spend a Saturday baking sugar-free Christmas snacks to take to the nursing home and/or shut-ins. Offer to come up one weekend and we'll take our kids to do something fun together.

I am not in any way trying to come off as Ebenezer Scrooge, Bah Humbug, and all that. I just think that dollar amounts should not be on the top of the priority list for Christmas. I want my kids to be excited about presents and Santa just like every other kid. But, I don't want to lose sight of what really matters. I want this year to be the last one that I spend Christmas worrying and stressing about too much Christmas spending! And, next year when I start making all my Christmas lists, someone please remind me to come back and read this post, because I'm sure I will forget.:)

p.s. Don't you love the irony of the whole post being about the un-importance of Christmas presents and in the picture my girls are wearing dresses covered in Christmas presents?!

Love is...

This morning, my husband went to the gas station to fill the truck up with gas. It was barely 30 degrees outside and not even 7:00. But, Sarah has dance on Thursday nights and his new work schedule means that he can't go with us anymore. So, instead of making me stop on the way to dance class and fill up the truck (with both kids in tow and like always running late), he did it for me.

While he was gone, I made a pot of coffee. I put his in a "To Go" cup and warmed up 2 leftover Krispy Kreme doughnuts for him. I also prepared his lunch for the day. And, I stuck an extra Little Debbie in the sack, because I know he loves them.

At lunch time today, he called just to say hello and see how we were doing. He does that everyday.

Tonight, my husband snuggled with our little girls and watched Snow White for the 1000th time, just so I could finish up working on Christmas dresses. And, even though he pitched a fit about me starting a sewing project, he ooh'd and aah'd over those 4 little dresses, because he knows his opinion matters to me.

It may not sound like much, but that is what love looks like to me these days.

It isn't always about the grand romantic gestures. Date nights, dinner for 2, a movie, flowers, and candles. Sure, those things are nice, but it isn't what is really important. And, when you have small children, sometimes those things can be impossible.

It's the everyday things that we do for each other to show our love. It's him listening to me rattle on and on about the random things that cross my mind. It's me listening to him rattle on and on about football (seriously...for hours!).

Love is him staying awake when he is exhausted so we can talk to each other uninterrupted for a few minutes before bed. Love is me making sure no folded laundry is on the love seat when he comes in from work, because I know he enjoys coming home to a picked-up house.

Love is him getting up in the middle of the night to make sure all the doors are locked, because I hear noises and am a big wimp. Love is me getting up in the middle of the night, turning the monitor off, and tip-toeing across the hall to quietly rock a baby back to sleep and make sure that he stays asleep.

"I love you" is not just something we say to each other before we hang up the phone. It is something that we live day in and day out. We love in the exotic anniversary vacations and we love in the never-ending work days and poop up to the elbows. It isn't always a bed of roses around here, but even when we are having our worst arguments, I still can't imagine going through life without him.

We have learned a lot of things about ourselves in the 5 years that we have lived away from our families. We have, if nothing else, learned to depend on God and each other above all. We've learned to communicate better. All in all, we know that up here all we have is us. And, it works. Because, as cliche' as it may sound, he really is my best friend.

Tomorrow morning, my husband will get ready for another long day at work, and I will try to convince him to call in sick, so we can spend the whole day together. He won't, of course. He never does, even when he wants/needs to. But, to me, that also looks a lot like...love.


"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but, the greatest of these is love." I Corinthians 13:13

25 Things About Motherhood That Make Me Smile

I guess I forgot for a couple of weeks that I had a blog to keep up with. I don't even know now where to begin updating it. We have been on the go constantly for the past few weeks, and that means lots of things to write about and no time to write. I think that I will start with the next installment of 25 Things About Motherhood That Make Me Smile. All 25 things have taken place in the last 2 weeks.

25 Things About Motherhood That Make Me Smile:

1. Sarah riding a horse for the first time
2. Giving Rylee 3 Reese's cups at midnight so she'll stop crying
3. Sarah playing dress-up at Thanksgiving dinner
4. Rylee running to my Mom and saying "NONNI!" for the first time
5. Taking the girls to a Christmas Parade
6. Decorating a Gingerbread house
7. Rylee's fascination with our porcelain baby Jesus
8. Living room concerts on a step stool singing "Be our Guest" and "I'm a Goat"(don't ask)
9. Rylee reaching for me and saying "HOLD HOLD!"
10. Sarah thinking that she smuggled a Mr. Potato Head into the shopping cart
11. Sarah making her "Gigi Face"
12. Watching my daughters decorate their little tree together
13. Keeping Rylee from eating the plastic ornaments
14. Sarah telling people that Christmas is Jesus' birthday
15. Praying that my children will know the true meaning of Christmas
16. Singing Christmas carols for the entire 2 hour drive home
17. Getting a round of applause after each and every song
18. Trying to get a beautiful picture of my girls and the babies together
19. Babies screaming the entire time
20. Rylee running away, refusing to sit still, and playing "drums" on the spotlights
21. Sarah leaning up against a column, arms folded across her chest, pouting
22. Thinking about what to smock for Easter dresses...before Christmas
23. Making hand print reindeer Christmas shirts for great-grandparents
24. Moving "Mickey" the Elf (our elf on a shelf) every night after the girls are in bed
25. Spending a "Lazy Monday" with my babies complete with hot chocolate and movies after a super busy weekend

Wednesday Of A Few Words II

Rylee Anne. My precious second born. Almost 2 years old. The Class Clown. You are so funny and beautiful. God knew just what He was doing when gave you to us. You are cuddly and warm. You love to give hugs, mostly to me, but sometimes you will hug others and let them feel just a fraction of what I feel with you everyday. Unconditional love. We are still learning together who you will be. But, I know that you will make a mark on this world. Compassionate and caring one. You bring joy with you everywhere you go. I cherish every second with you. So blessed to have you in my life.

Love, Mommy

Wednesday Of A Few Words

Sarah Grace. My beautiful girl. Almost 4 years old. You are spirited and funny and a bright light on a cloudy day. You feel everything deeply. Such a girlie-girl. You are emotional and dramatic. Sometimes you test me to my limit, but I am so glad that you do. I am supposed to be molding you, shaping you into the person you should be, but at the same time, you are making me a better person. So silly and imaginative. You are not just relaxing here in the grass. You are making "Grass Angels". Lying there sliding your arms and legs back and forth. Then you get up, to see the impression in the grass, and cry when it isn't there. You have brought so much love and laughter into our lives. Thank you, Sweetie-Girl.

Always be who you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Love, Mommy

Pure Joy

These girls are loved and adored beyond what you could imagine.

Sarah has a flare for the dramatic, a tender heart, and a tad of a mean streak. She is beautiful with big blue/gray eyes and long legs, and a laugh that makes my heart sing. She is my firstborn and my tiny dancer. She is so intelligent and has an imagination as big as the sky. She leaves me scratching my head sometimes, but everyday with her is an adventure.

Rylee has (as you can see) a smile that lights up my world, a goofy personality, and she gives the best hugs ever. She has heartfelt conversations with you in a language that only she understands, but somehow you know just what she is saying. She has piercing blue eyes, but her hair is always covering them. I can't seem to do anything with her hair. She loves her Daddy, but she calls him Mama. We are both Mama. But, when she calls my name, I know why I am on this earth.

Then, there are these new little additions to our family. My twin nieces Anna and Addison. They are close to 11 weeks old now. They are tiny miracles, like all babies are, but they remind us everyday that life is precious and surprises are wonderful. And, they are responsible for giving me the worst case of baby fever ever! Thanks a lot, girls!:)

Anna, on the left, smiles all the time. She is a happy baby. But, when she is hungry or wants to be held, she goes from 0 to 60 in about 1/2 a second. She is beautiful, and her nose and eyes remind me of Sarah. But, she looks like her Daddy, too. It's amazing how babies can look like so many people at one time. She started out as the smallest, but now she is the biggest. She loves her Mommy! All is right with the world as long as she is being held close to her Mommy's chest.

And, Addison, on the right, she is sure gonna be a heart breaker, with those big blue eyes. And, when she smiles, she smiles with her whole face. Beautiful girl. She is content. But, when she wants something, she lets you know...right then. She loves her bop-bop (passy) and doesn't think she can live without it. She looks like her Pop Pop and Uncle Brian, but there are times when I look at her that she really looks like her Daddy, too.

I am enjoying watching them grow so much. We don't know yet who they will be, but everyday their personalities shine through a little more. I am so blessed to be in their family and to know them and LOVE them. These four girls are just pure joy for me!

Traditions

I am all about holiday traditions. Even more now that I have children than before. I so look forward to doing special things every year with my family.

All of my life, almost 28 years now, we have had Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas Eve dinner with my Nana and Papa and my cousins (who feel more like siblings). Oh! How I love Nana's house on Thanksgiving! It is full with children and laughter and hugs and kisses. The men sit in the den and talk turkey and deer hunting, rock quarries, and football while the women pile their plates full of food and serve them. As a newlywed, I was determined not to show such submission. But, it didn't take me long to realize that it isn't done out of submission. It is done out of love and respect and thankfulness. So, now, I happily take my husband's dinner to him on a tray and roll my eyes when the younger girls swear they'll never do that. Because, I know they will. Then the women, after serving food to the little ones, eat around the kitchen counter. The chatter that once consisted of pageants, recitals, recipes, and babies has now turned to conversations of college, boyfriends, symphony, and well, still recipes and babies. It is arguably one of my favorite days of the entire year.

When I was a teenager, we would come home from Nana's on Christmas Eve, and I would open one gift from my Mom and Dad. Then, I would go spend the night with Vanda and Shawn and help with Santa for their (at the time) three small children. We did that even up to the year that I was hugely pregnant with my first baby. I watched with swollen feet (oh, who am I kidding? Swollen, everything) as Brian assembled a little toy kitchen for Amberly that, 3 years later, would be the highlight of my own daughter's Christmas morning. I have grown to truly cherish those times of tradition with family.

When Brian and I got married, as I'm sure most couples face, we had to do some major compromising for holidays. He is big on family traditions, too. And, he was no more willing to give any of it up than I was. So, for more than 5 years now, we do the very best we can to accommodate each other. It isn't always the easiest thing, but we make it work.
There are a lot of things that we could do differently and make things easier on ourselves, but we choose not to, because keeping with the traditions we love is more important to us than doing it the easy way. So, we will continue to eat 2 huge Thanksgiving meals, one at lunch and one at dinner, because we adore time spent with both our families. We will continue to go to Nana's with our girls in their jammies on Christmas Eve, and reluctantly but happily leave early to make it to Brian's Memaw's house just in time for Dessert and Dirty Santa. We will continue to drive 2 hours back to our house late on Christmas Eve, because it is important for us that our children wake up Christmas morning in their own beds. We will continue...because it is tradition...FAMILY tradition. And, because we love it and look forward to it all year.

That does not mean, however, that there is no room for new traditions to be established. When people get married, have children, combine families, etc... it is a good thing, no, a wonderful thing, to establish new traditions that will be all their own and build on that relationship and help the family to grow together. But, we should still be respectful of long-held traditions and not make people we love feel torn or conflicted between the old and the new. That is not what the holiday season is about. It should be something to excitedly await, not dread. It should be a time to enjoy, not just survive.

We have a new tradition (since Sarah's first Christmas) of early Christmas Eve morning breakfast at Shoney's in our jammies. We adopted that from Vanda and her family and last year we had the privilege of spending that time with their family. And, thus, a new tradition was born.
This year is going to be a year of lots of new traditions with new family. And, I am looking forward to it. At least, I am now that I know I am not going to be forced to choose between the people that I love.

Let's just remember that any time spent together as a family is a time for Thanksgiving. No matter what day it is.

What are some of your family's old traditions? And, what are some new ones?