The Best of Times...The Worst Of Times

Every night, in this house, after dinner and before bedtime, we have what is not-so-affectionately referred to as "hell hour". Just ask my sister-in-law, who called tonight during such hour. We didn't get to speak much more than a sentence to each other before having to hang up. Who can hear someone on the other end of the phone with Battle of the Baby Dolls going on in the background, anyway?

The girls are cranky, tired, and loud. They yell and scream. They bicker and fuss. And, 9 times out of 10, one or both of them ends up getting hit or kicked or even (on the rare occasion) bitten.

Sometimes it can look like pre-school WWF around here. Exhausting.

And, then...bedtime.

We read a story every night. It is quite possibly my very favorite part of the day. Both girls climb into one bed, we pick out a book, and then we experience the calm after the storm.

Tonight it's a Beauty and the Beast bedtime story. We click, click, click our tongue when someone knocks on a door and we all take turns HUCKKKK-SHOOOO'ing at the part where the Beast is snoring. And, I laugh out loud, because it really is the best kind of silly fun.

We kiss and hug and tuck in. Repeat. And, repeat. And, repeat again. (Rylee is still adjusting to not being "behind bars" at night.)

"Mommy, Rylee is out of her bed again!!"

"Mommy, Rylee is in the toy box!!"

"Mommy, Rylee took Mammy and won't give him back!!"
"Mommy...."

I sigh, too loudly, and march, also too loudly, into the bedroom to (most likely) yell something like, "NOT ONE MORE WORD!!!"

But, Sarah says sweetly, "Will you rub my back and sing me a lullabye?" She has requested a back rub and lullabye every night for the past week. I should have seen it coming. So, I kneel beside her bed, and take a few deep breaths to calm myself. She lifts her purple monkey night gown and I start to rub her back. I ask what lullabye she wants me to sing and she says, "Jesus loves me". Yes, Lord, I hear You.

So, I sing. And, I insert Sarah's name in all the appropriate places. She loves that.

She says, "Tomorrow night we can sing "He's got the Whole World in His Hands." Loud and clear, Father, Loud and Clear.

Then, Sarah drifts off to sleep.

5 minutes later...

"Mama."

Gently I say, "Rylee, it's time for night-night."

Rylee rolls over in her bed with her back facing me and tugs at her Tinkerbell PJ shirt.

"Wuub Bock, Mama. Shing."

I kiss that sweet, dimpled face. Then, I rub that soft, pudgy little back, and sing "Hush Little Baby." When the song ended, I gave more kisses and hugs.

Rylee then cupped my face in her precious little hands and said, "Go, Mama." with a smile, and a minute later she was sleeping.

Right there, feeling my most frazzled, my spirit was soothed by singing of Jesus' love for us, counting my blessings (2 of them lying in their beds with my hand on their backs), and even hearing that still, small voice whisper that it is all in His hands.

It was my own personal "Heaven Hour".

p.s. These pictures were taken a few nights ago when the evening had been a smidge more pleasant. I'm not crazy (or talented) enough to be snapping pictures in the middle of total chaos.

Mullet Be Gone

Cake the Flying Love Mullet is no more! (Thanks for the nick-name Uncle Drew. She'll appreciate that when she's older) Rylee got her first haircut last weekend. She is having lots of firsts these days. She can't sit still at home for more than 5 seconds at a time, but she made a total liar out of me, and sat like an angel for the duration of the haircut. Of course, the Dum Dum sucker probably helped. I'm thinking I should buy a lifetime supply of Dum Dum's and give her one every day when we comb her hair. Maybe, just maybe, then she'd sit through it. Of course, we'd have to hold her down to brush her teeth after that, so it would defeat the purpose. Anyway, her haircut is SO her. It really does fit her personality. And, I think she looks downright adorable, if I do say so myself.

Wednesday Of A Few Words

I don't know why I love this picture so much. I just do.
One day last week, Sarah came to me, with her Glenda the Good Witch wand in hand, and said, "I have a wish that I want to magically come true." (Sometimes I wonder where she gets this stuff)
I replied, "What is your wish?"
She waved her wand around in the air and said, "I wish, I wish that Daddy could stay home with us everyday."
I smiled and said, "Me, too." And, I meant it...mostly.:)

If I could wave a magic wand and get a wish, I would wish for our girls to always see their Daddy as a big goofball who gives the best hugs, tickles, and "horse"back rides. And that he loves them more than his own life.

p.s. He also makes absolutely the most convincing elephant noise I have ever heard during "Old MacDonald Had A Farm". HA!

4 Years

Four years ago today, I was laboring, and laboring, and laboring. We all thought that this day would be THE day. Little did we know that she would wait until just after midnight the following morning to make her grand entrance. My first baby, Sarah, will be 4 years old tomorrow.

Four years old!!!

She is funny and sassy. She is emotional and dramatic. She is a cry-er. She is a laugh-er. I've said it many times before, but she feels everything so deeply. She is going to make a big difference in the world someday. She has already made all the difference in my world.

God gave her to me right when He knew that I would need her the most. "A time to be born. A time to die." I do not believe in coincidences. I know that my little girl was born the day before my Daddy's birthday for a reason. I have often in the last 4 years questioned. Lord, why did you have to take him while I was pregnant? Why could he not have at least lived long enough to lay eyes on the granddaughter that he was so looking forward to meeting? But, I think I understand now why. It was time for him to go and time for her to come. And, I will thank God for that everyday. The only thing in this world that could alleviate some of my grief was bringing a beautiful new miracle into this world. It really was perfect timing. I will thank Him everyday for the 23 years that I had my Daddy and I will cherish every second that I have with my daughter, because it is all so fleeting.

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY, SWEETIE-GIRL!

Mommy loves you so much!

Somebody Is A Big Girl...Maybe.

We have introduced Rylee to the potty. For the last 3 days we have sat on the potty, sang the potty songs, done the dance, and all of that. For the last 3 days, she has sat there for about 10 seconds at a time, and been completely uninterested. Yesterday, I decided that she might just not be ready. She isn't quite 2 yet. Then last night, she grabbed her diaper and said, "Potty". So we gave it another shot. She tee-tee'd in the potty!! We celebrated like it was the 4th of July! We clapped and sang and danced. Then both girls got a congratulatory M&M:1 for Rylee the potty user and 1 for Sarah the cheerleader. I'm pretty sure now that I'm going to have to give Sarah an M&M every time that Rylee uses the potty. Sarah was more excited about it than any of the rest of us! Which, I'll admit, surprised me a little. I thought there might be some issues with Rylee getting that extra attention, but Sarah really impressed me with her excitement and pride over all of it.

I was SO excited!

Was...

We get up this morning, and start to take Rylee to the potty first thing. NOT HAPPENING! She has wanted nothing to do with the potty all day. Not once have I been able to get her to sit on it. Not once has she even gone into the bathroom. Today, she is perfectly content in her Huggies. I guess maybe she isn't quite ready after all. But, she's making the connection. So, hopefully it won't be too much longer.

By the way, I hate potty training. I really do. I wish it was one of those things that they could learn to do on their own like crawling and walking. But, it is part of the job. And, once successful, the results are well worth it. Although, I have to confess, it is hard for me to imagine a life without diapers.

Answering The Call

"MAMA...MAMA...MAMA...MAMAAAA..." My precious girl can't seem to sleep tonight, and neither can I. I was lying in bed sending up prayers for my closest and dearest friend of more than a decade when I heard that sweet little (and not so little at the same time) voice calling my name. I walk into her room, she reaches up, I take her in my arms, and she buries her face in my neck saying "Hey, Mama." As I sat in the rocker with my 21-month-old and tried to quietly hum her back to sleep, I got to thinking. How many times over the past 4 years have I answered that call? Did I always want to? Even when I was resting so well, or too busy, or completely comfortable where I was? I can't say that I was always thrilled about it, but I can say that I have always gone to my children when they called me.

The call to motherhood can come in many different forms.

It's not always a stick with 2 lines, nine months to prepare yourself, and waiting for those first calls for you in a delivery room. Adopted when I was 10-months-old, I am proof of that. There are some beautiful children in my family who are proof of that. Sometimes, it's a pricking at your heart. God leading you to foster precious children who are desperately in need of love and a family. Sometimes, it's a desire you can't explain, to adopt a child who needs you...and who you need, as well. And, sometimes the call to motherhood comes right out of nowhere when you are least expecting it. It wakes you from a peaceful night's sleep, turns your world upside down, and rearranges it in a matter of minutes. But, you do what all Mamas do, and you answer that call.

The dear friend that I was lifting up to the Father when my baby called for me, got an unexpected call a couple of weeks ago. And, instead of turning the other way, and letting someone else "deal" with it. She answered the call that thrust her into motherhood overnight and thirteen years late. People told her it was crazy, and it would be too hard, and it wasn't the right time. But, she obeyed God, and dove heart-first into motherhood, because that child needed someone to be her mother right then.

I am immensely proud of her.

She answered the desperate call of a child who was crying out for a Mama with all of her heart and everything she had. For once in her life, that precious child will have someone to call for, even in the middle of the night. And, my friend, although brand new to the role that has been given to her, will take that child in her arms, wipe her tears, and make her feel safe and loved, because that is what Mamas do.

You never know what a difference you can make in the life of a child, just by answering when they call, and answering when He calls you to motherhood, no matter what circumstances lead you there.


"A Father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in His holy habitation. God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land." Psalm 68:5-6

I think this must be one of my cousin Vanda's favorite Scripture passages. And, I wanted to share it, because she has answered the call to Mama in many different (and all wonderful) ways.

Wednesday Of A Few Words

Sarah's dance class had Parent's Night. Just before their performance, I looked down and Rylee was sitting right next to Sarah's friend, Lylah. During Sarah's dance, ALL eyes were on her. And, by ALL eyes, I mean mine and Brian's. As soon as the dance was over, I started looking around. "Where is Rylee???" I ask Brian. He says, "I don't know. I thought she was with you." PANIC sets in. So, I start frantically searching for my 21 month old who seems to have disappeared in a sea of tutu's. Just then, right through the door that Brian had been standing in front of the entire time, Rylee walks through, holding a cookie, and smiling mischievously. In the 2 minutes that no one was watching her, she got up, went to the next room where all the refreshments were, and had her own personal intermission. As nervous as I had been, I had to laugh! That girl keeps me more on my toes than any of the little ballerinas we saw that night.