Spending Christmas...Christmas Spending

Every year, it seems, it gets harder and harder to keep up with the demands of Christmas.And, a lot of times that is what it feels like...demands. What starts out as a time of joy and family time quickly turns into "How much are we spending?" and "Can we really afford all that?". The $10 here and the $20 there adds up to a substantial amount of money that could be saved or spent on more important things, and I am having a hard time this year finding the joy in all the spending. That is very unlike me. I usually get all excited making my lists and trying to think of great gifts that everyone will love. I enjoy the giving. For some reason this year, I can't explain it, I have not been as eager to go out and spend, spend, spend.

The girls aren't going to have a big Ta-Da from Santa this year. You know what I'm talking about. The huge kind of gift that takes up the whole living room and gets a BIG Christmas morning reaction. They are, however, getting everything that they asked for....Moon Dough and Pillow Pets included. And, thanks to Gigi and PopPop, a salon. We said that we were scaling back Christmas this year, because we are planning an upcoming trip to Disney World and would rather save money for that. But, those plans flew out the window as soon as Wal-Mart started playing Christmas carols over the intercom.

I have found a few ways to save money, though, in spite of all the hustle and bustle. I have done a lot of my Christmas shopping online, which has helped me compare prices, find better deals, and you can get free shipping almost everywhere during the holidays. Thank you eBay and amazon. And, a lot of people may disagree with re-gifting, but this year, I'm guilty! Two or three years ago it was the Christmas of Elmo around here. Sarah was between 1 and 3 years old and was infatuated with all things Elmo. When she started moving on to the next thing, we put most of the Elmo toys in the attic. This year, Rylee is at that age. She is Elmo's biggest fan. You should see her blue eyes light up when she hears that annoying, high-pitched voice! Why should we go out and buy all new Elmo toys when we have an attic full of barely-played-with Elmo toys? So, we are going to get all of those toys out, clean them up, and give them to Rylee. Poor Rylee, I know, always getting the hand-me-downs. But, she'll be just as excited about those recycled toys as she would be about new ones. That is, until she looks at the pictures 10 years from now and realizes that Santa brought her the exact same things that he brought Sarah 3 years earlier!

I am just realizing, I think, that I've spent so many Christmases getting all wrapped up (pardon the bad pun) in the things that aren't important. And, it's time now, to start remembering what Christmas is about in the first place. I don't want my girls to grow up thinking that Christmas is all about how much is spent on them and what they can get. I want them to have a real understanding of why we celebrate. I want to them to have a passion for giving. Not of their wallets, but of their time, and of their hearts. I want them to give freely all the love, encouragement, friendship, and service that they can. The things that can't be wrapped in a nice little bow. The things that Jesus came here and gave to us. And, I know that the only way to teach them the true spirit of Christmas is to lead by example.

So, this year, I don't need any tangible gifts. If you want to give me something, here is my list:

1. You can give me your prayers. If or when I cross your mind, just say a quick prayer. Pray that I will be the wife,mother, and daughter that my family deserves. Pray that I will be a better friend, who picks up the phone more often to call, and picks up a pen more often to write. Pray that I will find contentment spending another Christmas living away from home. Pray that this Christmas be our last one living here, and that next year Brian will get the opportunity to move us home. Pray that our lost loved ones will come to know salvation. And, pray that I will be the example of God's love that I am called to be. So that more will come to know His amazing love and mercy.

2. You can give of your time. Let's have dinner together when we come to town or take turns helping each other clean house or do laundry. It's only a 2 hour drive. Let's set aside an afternoon to gather all the clothes,toys, and household items that we don't use and donate them to people who really have needs this year. Let's spend a Saturday baking sugar-free Christmas snacks to take to the nursing home and/or shut-ins. Offer to come up one weekend and we'll take our kids to do something fun together.

I am not in any way trying to come off as Ebenezer Scrooge, Bah Humbug, and all that. I just think that dollar amounts should not be on the top of the priority list for Christmas. I want my kids to be excited about presents and Santa just like every other kid. But, I don't want to lose sight of what really matters. I want this year to be the last one that I spend Christmas worrying and stressing about too much Christmas spending! And, next year when I start making all my Christmas lists, someone please remind me to come back and read this post, because I'm sure I will forget.:)

p.s. Don't you love the irony of the whole post being about the un-importance of Christmas presents and in the picture my girls are wearing dresses covered in Christmas presents?!

Love is...

This morning, my husband went to the gas station to fill the truck up with gas. It was barely 30 degrees outside and not even 7:00. But, Sarah has dance on Thursday nights and his new work schedule means that he can't go with us anymore. So, instead of making me stop on the way to dance class and fill up the truck (with both kids in tow and like always running late), he did it for me.

While he was gone, I made a pot of coffee. I put his in a "To Go" cup and warmed up 2 leftover Krispy Kreme doughnuts for him. I also prepared his lunch for the day. And, I stuck an extra Little Debbie in the sack, because I know he loves them.

At lunch time today, he called just to say hello and see how we were doing. He does that everyday.

Tonight, my husband snuggled with our little girls and watched Snow White for the 1000th time, just so I could finish up working on Christmas dresses. And, even though he pitched a fit about me starting a sewing project, he ooh'd and aah'd over those 4 little dresses, because he knows his opinion matters to me.

It may not sound like much, but that is what love looks like to me these days.

It isn't always about the grand romantic gestures. Date nights, dinner for 2, a movie, flowers, and candles. Sure, those things are nice, but it isn't what is really important. And, when you have small children, sometimes those things can be impossible.

It's the everyday things that we do for each other to show our love. It's him listening to me rattle on and on about the random things that cross my mind. It's me listening to him rattle on and on about football (seriously...for hours!).

Love is him staying awake when he is exhausted so we can talk to each other uninterrupted for a few minutes before bed. Love is me making sure no folded laundry is on the love seat when he comes in from work, because I know he enjoys coming home to a picked-up house.

Love is him getting up in the middle of the night to make sure all the doors are locked, because I hear noises and am a big wimp. Love is me getting up in the middle of the night, turning the monitor off, and tip-toeing across the hall to quietly rock a baby back to sleep and make sure that he stays asleep.

"I love you" is not just something we say to each other before we hang up the phone. It is something that we live day in and day out. We love in the exotic anniversary vacations and we love in the never-ending work days and poop up to the elbows. It isn't always a bed of roses around here, but even when we are having our worst arguments, I still can't imagine going through life without him.

We have learned a lot of things about ourselves in the 5 years that we have lived away from our families. We have, if nothing else, learned to depend on God and each other above all. We've learned to communicate better. All in all, we know that up here all we have is us. And, it works. Because, as cliche' as it may sound, he really is my best friend.

Tomorrow morning, my husband will get ready for another long day at work, and I will try to convince him to call in sick, so we can spend the whole day together. He won't, of course. He never does, even when he wants/needs to. But, to me, that also looks a lot like...love.


"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but, the greatest of these is love." I Corinthians 13:13

25 Things About Motherhood That Make Me Smile

I guess I forgot for a couple of weeks that I had a blog to keep up with. I don't even know now where to begin updating it. We have been on the go constantly for the past few weeks, and that means lots of things to write about and no time to write. I think that I will start with the next installment of 25 Things About Motherhood That Make Me Smile. All 25 things have taken place in the last 2 weeks.

25 Things About Motherhood That Make Me Smile:

1. Sarah riding a horse for the first time
2. Giving Rylee 3 Reese's cups at midnight so she'll stop crying
3. Sarah playing dress-up at Thanksgiving dinner
4. Rylee running to my Mom and saying "NONNI!" for the first time
5. Taking the girls to a Christmas Parade
6. Decorating a Gingerbread house
7. Rylee's fascination with our porcelain baby Jesus
8. Living room concerts on a step stool singing "Be our Guest" and "I'm a Goat"(don't ask)
9. Rylee reaching for me and saying "HOLD HOLD!"
10. Sarah thinking that she smuggled a Mr. Potato Head into the shopping cart
11. Sarah making her "Gigi Face"
12. Watching my daughters decorate their little tree together
13. Keeping Rylee from eating the plastic ornaments
14. Sarah telling people that Christmas is Jesus' birthday
15. Praying that my children will know the true meaning of Christmas
16. Singing Christmas carols for the entire 2 hour drive home
17. Getting a round of applause after each and every song
18. Trying to get a beautiful picture of my girls and the babies together
19. Babies screaming the entire time
20. Rylee running away, refusing to sit still, and playing "drums" on the spotlights
21. Sarah leaning up against a column, arms folded across her chest, pouting
22. Thinking about what to smock for Easter dresses...before Christmas
23. Making hand print reindeer Christmas shirts for great-grandparents
24. Moving "Mickey" the Elf (our elf on a shelf) every night after the girls are in bed
25. Spending a "Lazy Monday" with my babies complete with hot chocolate and movies after a super busy weekend

Wednesday Of A Few Words II

Rylee Anne. My precious second born. Almost 2 years old. The Class Clown. You are so funny and beautiful. God knew just what He was doing when gave you to us. You are cuddly and warm. You love to give hugs, mostly to me, but sometimes you will hug others and let them feel just a fraction of what I feel with you everyday. Unconditional love. We are still learning together who you will be. But, I know that you will make a mark on this world. Compassionate and caring one. You bring joy with you everywhere you go. I cherish every second with you. So blessed to have you in my life.

Love, Mommy

Wednesday Of A Few Words

Sarah Grace. My beautiful girl. Almost 4 years old. You are spirited and funny and a bright light on a cloudy day. You feel everything deeply. Such a girlie-girl. You are emotional and dramatic. Sometimes you test me to my limit, but I am so glad that you do. I am supposed to be molding you, shaping you into the person you should be, but at the same time, you are making me a better person. So silly and imaginative. You are not just relaxing here in the grass. You are making "Grass Angels". Lying there sliding your arms and legs back and forth. Then you get up, to see the impression in the grass, and cry when it isn't there. You have brought so much love and laughter into our lives. Thank you, Sweetie-Girl.

Always be who you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Love, Mommy

Pure Joy

These girls are loved and adored beyond what you could imagine.

Sarah has a flare for the dramatic, a tender heart, and a tad of a mean streak. She is beautiful with big blue/gray eyes and long legs, and a laugh that makes my heart sing. She is my firstborn and my tiny dancer. She is so intelligent and has an imagination as big as the sky. She leaves me scratching my head sometimes, but everyday with her is an adventure.

Rylee has (as you can see) a smile that lights up my world, a goofy personality, and she gives the best hugs ever. She has heartfelt conversations with you in a language that only she understands, but somehow you know just what she is saying. She has piercing blue eyes, but her hair is always covering them. I can't seem to do anything with her hair. She loves her Daddy, but she calls him Mama. We are both Mama. But, when she calls my name, I know why I am on this earth.

Then, there are these new little additions to our family. My twin nieces Anna and Addison. They are close to 11 weeks old now. They are tiny miracles, like all babies are, but they remind us everyday that life is precious and surprises are wonderful. And, they are responsible for giving me the worst case of baby fever ever! Thanks a lot, girls!:)

Anna, on the left, smiles all the time. She is a happy baby. But, when she is hungry or wants to be held, she goes from 0 to 60 in about 1/2 a second. She is beautiful, and her nose and eyes remind me of Sarah. But, she looks like her Daddy, too. It's amazing how babies can look like so many people at one time. She started out as the smallest, but now she is the biggest. She loves her Mommy! All is right with the world as long as she is being held close to her Mommy's chest.

And, Addison, on the right, she is sure gonna be a heart breaker, with those big blue eyes. And, when she smiles, she smiles with her whole face. Beautiful girl. She is content. But, when she wants something, she lets you know...right then. She loves her bop-bop (passy) and doesn't think she can live without it. She looks like her Pop Pop and Uncle Brian, but there are times when I look at her that she really looks like her Daddy, too.

I am enjoying watching them grow so much. We don't know yet who they will be, but everyday their personalities shine through a little more. I am so blessed to be in their family and to know them and LOVE them. These four girls are just pure joy for me!

Traditions

I am all about holiday traditions. Even more now that I have children than before. I so look forward to doing special things every year with my family.

All of my life, almost 28 years now, we have had Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas Eve dinner with my Nana and Papa and my cousins (who feel more like siblings). Oh! How I love Nana's house on Thanksgiving! It is full with children and laughter and hugs and kisses. The men sit in the den and talk turkey and deer hunting, rock quarries, and football while the women pile their plates full of food and serve them. As a newlywed, I was determined not to show such submission. But, it didn't take me long to realize that it isn't done out of submission. It is done out of love and respect and thankfulness. So, now, I happily take my husband's dinner to him on a tray and roll my eyes when the younger girls swear they'll never do that. Because, I know they will. Then the women, after serving food to the little ones, eat around the kitchen counter. The chatter that once consisted of pageants, recitals, recipes, and babies has now turned to conversations of college, boyfriends, symphony, and well, still recipes and babies. It is arguably one of my favorite days of the entire year.

When I was a teenager, we would come home from Nana's on Christmas Eve, and I would open one gift from my Mom and Dad. Then, I would go spend the night with Vanda and Shawn and help with Santa for their (at the time) three small children. We did that even up to the year that I was hugely pregnant with my first baby. I watched with swollen feet (oh, who am I kidding? Swollen, everything) as Brian assembled a little toy kitchen for Amberly that, 3 years later, would be the highlight of my own daughter's Christmas morning. I have grown to truly cherish those times of tradition with family.

When Brian and I got married, as I'm sure most couples face, we had to do some major compromising for holidays. He is big on family traditions, too. And, he was no more willing to give any of it up than I was. So, for more than 5 years now, we do the very best we can to accommodate each other. It isn't always the easiest thing, but we make it work.
There are a lot of things that we could do differently and make things easier on ourselves, but we choose not to, because keeping with the traditions we love is more important to us than doing it the easy way. So, we will continue to eat 2 huge Thanksgiving meals, one at lunch and one at dinner, because we adore time spent with both our families. We will continue to go to Nana's with our girls in their jammies on Christmas Eve, and reluctantly but happily leave early to make it to Brian's Memaw's house just in time for Dessert and Dirty Santa. We will continue to drive 2 hours back to our house late on Christmas Eve, because it is important for us that our children wake up Christmas morning in their own beds. We will continue...because it is tradition...FAMILY tradition. And, because we love it and look forward to it all year.

That does not mean, however, that there is no room for new traditions to be established. When people get married, have children, combine families, etc... it is a good thing, no, a wonderful thing, to establish new traditions that will be all their own and build on that relationship and help the family to grow together. But, we should still be respectful of long-held traditions and not make people we love feel torn or conflicted between the old and the new. That is not what the holiday season is about. It should be something to excitedly await, not dread. It should be a time to enjoy, not just survive.

We have a new tradition (since Sarah's first Christmas) of early Christmas Eve morning breakfast at Shoney's in our jammies. We adopted that from Vanda and her family and last year we had the privilege of spending that time with their family. And, thus, a new tradition was born.
This year is going to be a year of lots of new traditions with new family. And, I am looking forward to it. At least, I am now that I know I am not going to be forced to choose between the people that I love.

Let's just remember that any time spent together as a family is a time for Thanksgiving. No matter what day it is.

What are some of your family's old traditions? And, what are some new ones?