4 Years

Four years ago today, I was laboring, and laboring, and laboring. We all thought that this day would be THE day. Little did we know that she would wait until just after midnight the following morning to make her grand entrance. My first baby, Sarah, will be 4 years old tomorrow.

Four years old!!!

She is funny and sassy. She is emotional and dramatic. She is a cry-er. She is a laugh-er. I've said it many times before, but she feels everything so deeply. She is going to make a big difference in the world someday. She has already made all the difference in my world.

God gave her to me right when He knew that I would need her the most. "A time to be born. A time to die." I do not believe in coincidences. I know that my little girl was born the day before my Daddy's birthday for a reason. I have often in the last 4 years questioned. Lord, why did you have to take him while I was pregnant? Why could he not have at least lived long enough to lay eyes on the granddaughter that he was so looking forward to meeting? But, I think I understand now why. It was time for him to go and time for her to come. And, I will thank God for that everyday. The only thing in this world that could alleviate some of my grief was bringing a beautiful new miracle into this world. It really was perfect timing. I will thank Him everyday for the 23 years that I had my Daddy and I will cherish every second that I have with my daughter, because it is all so fleeting.

HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY, SWEETIE-GIRL!

Mommy loves you so much!

Somebody Is A Big Girl...Maybe.

We have introduced Rylee to the potty. For the last 3 days we have sat on the potty, sang the potty songs, done the dance, and all of that. For the last 3 days, she has sat there for about 10 seconds at a time, and been completely uninterested. Yesterday, I decided that she might just not be ready. She isn't quite 2 yet. Then last night, she grabbed her diaper and said, "Potty". So we gave it another shot. She tee-tee'd in the potty!! We celebrated like it was the 4th of July! We clapped and sang and danced. Then both girls got a congratulatory M&M:1 for Rylee the potty user and 1 for Sarah the cheerleader. I'm pretty sure now that I'm going to have to give Sarah an M&M every time that Rylee uses the potty. Sarah was more excited about it than any of the rest of us! Which, I'll admit, surprised me a little. I thought there might be some issues with Rylee getting that extra attention, but Sarah really impressed me with her excitement and pride over all of it.

I was SO excited!

Was...

We get up this morning, and start to take Rylee to the potty first thing. NOT HAPPENING! She has wanted nothing to do with the potty all day. Not once have I been able to get her to sit on it. Not once has she even gone into the bathroom. Today, she is perfectly content in her Huggies. I guess maybe she isn't quite ready after all. But, she's making the connection. So, hopefully it won't be too much longer.

By the way, I hate potty training. I really do. I wish it was one of those things that they could learn to do on their own like crawling and walking. But, it is part of the job. And, once successful, the results are well worth it. Although, I have to confess, it is hard for me to imagine a life without diapers.

Answering The Call

"MAMA...MAMA...MAMA...MAMAAAA..." My precious girl can't seem to sleep tonight, and neither can I. I was lying in bed sending up prayers for my closest and dearest friend of more than a decade when I heard that sweet little (and not so little at the same time) voice calling my name. I walk into her room, she reaches up, I take her in my arms, and she buries her face in my neck saying "Hey, Mama." As I sat in the rocker with my 21-month-old and tried to quietly hum her back to sleep, I got to thinking. How many times over the past 4 years have I answered that call? Did I always want to? Even when I was resting so well, or too busy, or completely comfortable where I was? I can't say that I was always thrilled about it, but I can say that I have always gone to my children when they called me.

The call to motherhood can come in many different forms.

It's not always a stick with 2 lines, nine months to prepare yourself, and waiting for those first calls for you in a delivery room. Adopted when I was 10-months-old, I am proof of that. There are some beautiful children in my family who are proof of that. Sometimes, it's a pricking at your heart. God leading you to foster precious children who are desperately in need of love and a family. Sometimes, it's a desire you can't explain, to adopt a child who needs you...and who you need, as well. And, sometimes the call to motherhood comes right out of nowhere when you are least expecting it. It wakes you from a peaceful night's sleep, turns your world upside down, and rearranges it in a matter of minutes. But, you do what all Mamas do, and you answer that call.

The dear friend that I was lifting up to the Father when my baby called for me, got an unexpected call a couple of weeks ago. And, instead of turning the other way, and letting someone else "deal" with it. She answered the call that thrust her into motherhood overnight and thirteen years late. People told her it was crazy, and it would be too hard, and it wasn't the right time. But, she obeyed God, and dove heart-first into motherhood, because that child needed someone to be her mother right then.

I am immensely proud of her.

She answered the desperate call of a child who was crying out for a Mama with all of her heart and everything she had. For once in her life, that precious child will have someone to call for, even in the middle of the night. And, my friend, although brand new to the role that has been given to her, will take that child in her arms, wipe her tears, and make her feel safe and loved, because that is what Mamas do.

You never know what a difference you can make in the life of a child, just by answering when they call, and answering when He calls you to motherhood, no matter what circumstances lead you there.


"A Father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in His holy habitation. God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land." Psalm 68:5-6

I think this must be one of my cousin Vanda's favorite Scripture passages. And, I wanted to share it, because she has answered the call to Mama in many different (and all wonderful) ways.

Wednesday Of A Few Words

Sarah's dance class had Parent's Night. Just before their performance, I looked down and Rylee was sitting right next to Sarah's friend, Lylah. During Sarah's dance, ALL eyes were on her. And, by ALL eyes, I mean mine and Brian's. As soon as the dance was over, I started looking around. "Where is Rylee???" I ask Brian. He says, "I don't know. I thought she was with you." PANIC sets in. So, I start frantically searching for my 21 month old who seems to have disappeared in a sea of tutu's. Just then, right through the door that Brian had been standing in front of the entire time, Rylee walks through, holding a cookie, and smiling mischievously. In the 2 minutes that no one was watching her, she got up, went to the next room where all the refreshments were, and had her own personal intermission. As nervous as I had been, I had to laugh! That girl keeps me more on my toes than any of the little ballerinas we saw that night.

25 Things About Motherhood That Make Me Smile: Christmas Edition

1. The drive home on Christmas Eve with both girls sleeping in the backseat.
2. Reading What is Christmas? to them when I put them to bed.

3. Putting out gifts from Santa in certain spots in the living room.

4. Making cookies for Santa. This didn't get done this year. Santa got store bought oatmeal cookies and a Little Debbie Christmas Tree cake with a tall glass of milk.

5. Leaving crumbs on the plate and a little milk in the glass.

6. Writing a letter to Sarah and Rylee from Santa.

7. Waking up hours before they do, too excited about Christmas morning.

8. The looks on their faces when they realize Santa came to their house.

9. Playing in the snow-snow angels, snowman, snowballs!

10. Watching Sarah "play" her violin like she is the Concert Master of the Symphony.

11. Watching Rylee roll in laughter when she tickles Elmo and he laughs. Just like Sarah did 3 Christmases ago.

12. The NOISE!

13. The MESS!

14. The JOY!

15. Waiting (impatiently) for Gigi and PopPop.

16. Sarah's reaction when she opened her salon.

17. Sarah "painting" PopPop's fingernails.

18. Settling in for the evening to watch Toy Story 3 together.

19. Sarah laying on Gigi's lap during the movie.

20. Rylee falling asleep in her Daddy's arms during the movie.

21. Me crying at the end of the movie like the dork that I am.

22. Uninterrupted, quality family time.

23. Getting to feel like a kid again on Christmas morning- only better, because of my husband and daughters.

24. Sarah saying that she can't wait until next year.

25. Me saying, "Neither can I" and meaning it.

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

And, this year that dream came true!

When we went to bed late Christmas Eve night (or I should say early Christmas morning), there was grass on the ground. When we woke up, we had at least 2 inches of snow!

Brian saw it first. He got up and looked out the window, then started yelling for me to wake up. "Rachel! Get up and come look!!" We were almost jumping up and down like little kids. Speaking of little kids...ours were still sleeping. They both slept in until nearly 10 am. Which is totally unheard of, but we were glad. That meant we got to go out and play in it first. Brian and I had a snowball fight, it left me with a huge whelp on my knee, but I didn't care. We had a white Christmas! Who can believe it? This is Alabama! I am usually still wearing flip flops in December. The only thing I can figure is that God looked down and felt sorry for us spending yet another holiday living up here and decided to give us a little consolation prize. It was wonderful. After the girls got out of bed and saw all the things that Santa had brought, we got bundled up (I won't mention my husband's not-so-brilliant idea to keep the kids' clothes dry) and went out to enjoy it. Sarah was so excited to build real snow angels. She was just beside herself. Rylee wanted to eat the snow, and she did. We all worked on Frosty. Sarah and Rylee enjoyed putting his buttons on, which is why he had so many. People driving by our house were taking pictures of him!

It was an incredible Christmas morning. We had the best time!

Spending Christmas...Christmas Spending

Every year, it seems, it gets harder and harder to keep up with the demands of Christmas.And, a lot of times that is what it feels like...demands. What starts out as a time of joy and family time quickly turns into "How much are we spending?" and "Can we really afford all that?". The $10 here and the $20 there adds up to a substantial amount of money that could be saved or spent on more important things, and I am having a hard time this year finding the joy in all the spending. That is very unlike me. I usually get all excited making my lists and trying to think of great gifts that everyone will love. I enjoy the giving. For some reason this year, I can't explain it, I have not been as eager to go out and spend, spend, spend.

The girls aren't going to have a big Ta-Da from Santa this year. You know what I'm talking about. The huge kind of gift that takes up the whole living room and gets a BIG Christmas morning reaction. They are, however, getting everything that they asked for....Moon Dough and Pillow Pets included. And, thanks to Gigi and PopPop, a salon. We said that we were scaling back Christmas this year, because we are planning an upcoming trip to Disney World and would rather save money for that. But, those plans flew out the window as soon as Wal-Mart started playing Christmas carols over the intercom.

I have found a few ways to save money, though, in spite of all the hustle and bustle. I have done a lot of my Christmas shopping online, which has helped me compare prices, find better deals, and you can get free shipping almost everywhere during the holidays. Thank you eBay and amazon. And, a lot of people may disagree with re-gifting, but this year, I'm guilty! Two or three years ago it was the Christmas of Elmo around here. Sarah was between 1 and 3 years old and was infatuated with all things Elmo. When she started moving on to the next thing, we put most of the Elmo toys in the attic. This year, Rylee is at that age. She is Elmo's biggest fan. You should see her blue eyes light up when she hears that annoying, high-pitched voice! Why should we go out and buy all new Elmo toys when we have an attic full of barely-played-with Elmo toys? So, we are going to get all of those toys out, clean them up, and give them to Rylee. Poor Rylee, I know, always getting the hand-me-downs. But, she'll be just as excited about those recycled toys as she would be about new ones. That is, until she looks at the pictures 10 years from now and realizes that Santa brought her the exact same things that he brought Sarah 3 years earlier!

I am just realizing, I think, that I've spent so many Christmases getting all wrapped up (pardon the bad pun) in the things that aren't important. And, it's time now, to start remembering what Christmas is about in the first place. I don't want my girls to grow up thinking that Christmas is all about how much is spent on them and what they can get. I want them to have a real understanding of why we celebrate. I want to them to have a passion for giving. Not of their wallets, but of their time, and of their hearts. I want them to give freely all the love, encouragement, friendship, and service that they can. The things that can't be wrapped in a nice little bow. The things that Jesus came here and gave to us. And, I know that the only way to teach them the true spirit of Christmas is to lead by example.

So, this year, I don't need any tangible gifts. If you want to give me something, here is my list:

1. You can give me your prayers. If or when I cross your mind, just say a quick prayer. Pray that I will be the wife,mother, and daughter that my family deserves. Pray that I will be a better friend, who picks up the phone more often to call, and picks up a pen more often to write. Pray that I will find contentment spending another Christmas living away from home. Pray that this Christmas be our last one living here, and that next year Brian will get the opportunity to move us home. Pray that our lost loved ones will come to know salvation. And, pray that I will be the example of God's love that I am called to be. So that more will come to know His amazing love and mercy.

2. You can give of your time. Let's have dinner together when we come to town or take turns helping each other clean house or do laundry. It's only a 2 hour drive. Let's set aside an afternoon to gather all the clothes,toys, and household items that we don't use and donate them to people who really have needs this year. Let's spend a Saturday baking sugar-free Christmas snacks to take to the nursing home and/or shut-ins. Offer to come up one weekend and we'll take our kids to do something fun together.

I am not in any way trying to come off as Ebenezer Scrooge, Bah Humbug, and all that. I just think that dollar amounts should not be on the top of the priority list for Christmas. I want my kids to be excited about presents and Santa just like every other kid. But, I don't want to lose sight of what really matters. I want this year to be the last one that I spend Christmas worrying and stressing about too much Christmas spending! And, next year when I start making all my Christmas lists, someone please remind me to come back and read this post, because I'm sure I will forget.:)

p.s. Don't you love the irony of the whole post being about the un-importance of Christmas presents and in the picture my girls are wearing dresses covered in Christmas presents?!